I was walking downtown to work and happened to meet up with a male coworker at the corner across from my work. While waiting for the light to turn, a man who looked to be a member of the city’s homeless population shouted “Nice hair, babe” at me. I turned with a smile, thanked him, and returned to waiting with my coworker. Coworker was just looking over his shoulder at the man, an expression bordering on disgust, or perhaps confusion, on his face. Maybe he thought I knew the guy, but I don’t.

I told him that I often get compliments on my hair, and he joked that he never does (he is bald). Then I mentioned that the “babe” part was a little much, and he agreed that it really made it “ick”.

Thing is, despite the uneasy feeling I got from the compliment, it wasn’t something I had any intention of addressing, especially not with the one who shouted it at me. That borders on dangerous, and I never want to cause someone to explode at me. We talked a little further with another male coworker in the elevator. To the first coworkers bafflement at such comments, we both said welcome to being a woman and I mentioned that I am grateful to live where we do, because what I experience is nothing compared to what some women have to put up with.

Combine this experience with continually seeing those mysoginistic tweets on Twitter about how to be a good woman, or wife, ones that rail against women expressing themselves through their appearance, and frankly I’m done. I’m sick of it.

We live in a modern world. We live in the future. So why are there men out there still looking at women as only being objects? As only being there for man’s pleasure and to have babies? So long as, of course, those women don’t end up becoming single mothers for any reason.

Ridiculous, right? I sure think so.

I’m lucky to live in the city I live in. The comments I get are fairly harmless compared to what women face in other cities and other countries. But that doesn’t mean I don’t actually face it. I just get off easy, and I know it.

And sure, there might be those who will say that I would not have minded such a comment if it came from an attractive person. They would be wrong. I still don’t appreciate it. It doesn’t feel quite so bad, but honestly? The only person I want calling me “babe” or to have throw a sexually charged compliment my way is my husband. Everyone else can stick to the benign compliments.

It isn’t that I don’t appreciate compliments. I do. But you can tell me my hair looks good without adding babe, or sweetheart. You can tell me I have a nice dress without staring at my breasts. You can walk past me without fully turning your head to watch my ass move. I know when they do it, I can feel their eyes.

I wish that this sort of behavior would stop. Like I said, I know I get off easy here. I shudder to think of what other women have to put up with simply for existing.

We need to do better. And it is unfortunate that the ones who need to do better are the ones that likely never will.