Standing on the outside looking in can make it easy to judge, easy to say ‘why didn’t they do it this way?’ or ‘how could they not see it?’. It is easy to see what should happen, when you are far enough away to see the whole picture, to see the threads that bind and twist. To see the whole of the winding path.
It isn’t so easy when you are in the thick of it, when those threads are bound and twisting about you. When all you see is the path at your feet. It isn’t easy to see the problems, when your heart and mind refuse to acknowledge they could ever possibly exist. We blind ourselves to the truth because the every day lies are far less painful and easier to hold on to. It takes someone strong to reach out beyond those lies, to see the truth and take hold of it.
It is easy to say that they should do it, yet not so easy to actually do.
The lies that we tell ourselves are pervasive, insidious, and we don’t even realize that we are doing it most of the time. Or we justify it. Don’t tell a story because you don’t want people to judge, not realizing that maybe you should stop and think about why and what you don’t want judged. That perhaps avoiding the story that might clang alarm bells in the head of a trusted confidante is a flag in and of itself.
We trick ourselves into believing that where we are is always where we need to be, when sometimes it is just a stepping stone. Or a stoplight turned red. Or even both, one after the other. We don’t want to leave the comfortable, the known, so we tell ourselves that we are happy here. Until there comes a time when that lie becomes too big, when it threatens to overwhelm us and instead it smashes into us and falls apart. We fall apart. Our lives fall apart.
But that’s the thing about people. Our lives can, and will, fall apart. Yet we keep on going. We keep on trying to make sense of it all, to move forward to something brighter, to something bigger than ourselves. It pulls us onward even when we dig our heels in and say ‘Stop!’. At least, for most of us. There are, always and sadly, those who dig in too deep, whose shouts are too loud, to be overcome. Whose self-told lies will never be shattered.
For the rest of us, even our darkest moments can be spun into something bright. A lesson, for yourself and for others, if they will care to listen and not judge. A truth that you can hold to tightly, even when the lies begin to creep in again. An understanding, that you are strong and have made it through darkness to light once and can do so again. And again, if need be.
All this to say: pay attention to the little details in your lives, the small clues that will show you the truth if you let them. Tell the untold story. Don’t dismiss the nagging voice that you so often do, the one that asks ‘are we sure this is right?’. The story might be nothing, the voice might be the lie, but if you don’t tell it, if you don’t listen, how can you know for sure?
Flights of Fancy 